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Planning a
Wedding at Evangelical Lutheran Church--Congratulations!
You are, "By your promises" planning to
bind yourselves together in the presence of God and the congregation
as husband and wife. This is a wonderful
experience that you are planning for your family and friends. The
following will help you with your
planning.
Not only is the ceremony for family and
friends, but God is pleased when you make it a service of worship that
is centered in Christ and is dedicated to
His glory. A couple desiring a church wedding wants more than a legal
ceremony. Standing before the altar, a
couple wants their wedding to be...
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A statement of faith, that marriage
is part of God's plan |
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A prayer for God's blessing |
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A celebration for the whole family
and guests |
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An expression of the couple's desire
for God's life long presence in their home |
You are to be commended for planning to
have your wedding in a church. What a wonderful witness! It is
in the church that Christians live out
much of their lives. Confession, forgiveness, prayer, hearing of the
Word, offering of our gifts, serving—all
of these take place among the people of God. You have chosen to
begin your married life in that setting.
Thank you! We wish you God's richest blessings as you look
forward to your wedding day!
Arrangements
Please contact the church office as soon
as possible to request a date for the marriage service, preferably six
months or more before the anticipated
wedding date. Once you have 1) confirmed availability with the
pastors, 2) filled out the “request for
wedding reservations” (available at the church office) and 3) returned
it
with the appropriate deposit, the
secretary will place the wedding on the church calendar. The wedding
date
is not “reserved” until all these steps
are taken.
Pre-marriage counseling
At the heart of Christian marriage is a
promise to reflect and receive God's abiding love towards one another
within the marriage relationship and
outwards in service to the world. This love is reflected in a mutual
passion
and care for one another, a respect for
each individual in the relationship and a commitment to one another
and the relationship over time that
establishes trust and stability.
A good marriage begins when both partners
know each other well, when they have spent much time discussing
their hopes and plans for marriage, and
when they promise with their whole heart to "love, comfort, honor and
keep" each other for the rest of their
lives.
Your pastor will want to meet with you
for pre-marriage counseling well in advance of the wedding; as well as
discuss plans for the marriage service
itself. A "Prepare" questionnaire will be used which will assist you in
identifying strengths and growth areas in
your relationship. Normally, you will meet with the pastor 4 times for
these sessions.
Pictures/Audio Visual
Pictures are taken before the ceremony.
Any departure from this must be approved by the pastor. It is
imperative that all picture taking is
stopped 30 minutes before the service is to begin to allow for ushering
people and other preparations. Also, no
FLASH pictures are allowed during the ceremony. Photo taking
should not interrupt or distract from the
ceremony in any way. Please inform your photographer and have
them speak with the pastor if there are
any questions. If you or your photographer move anything for the
pictures, it is your responsibility to
see that items moved are put back in their proper place.
Video cameras must be mounted on a stand
(no moving around with the camera). If you wish to have a video
made, the videographer should speak to
the pastor prior to the service for further directions.
Sound System
Please make every effort to work with the
pastor regarding the use of the sound system. Never attempt to
change any settings.
Bulletins
Evangelical will print a 2 page marriage
service bulletin for a fee. (Please call the office for current fees).
If you choose to have ELC print/copy your
bulletin, all information must be to the office 2 weeks prior to the
wedding. Payment is due at the time of
proofing. You are welcome to make other arrangements for the
bulletin. Please speak to the pastor to
plan the content. DO NOT print copies of the bulletin until it has been
proofed by the pastor.
The Service
Because your marriage service is centered
in Christ and is intended to praise God it is a worship service. Your
plans will want to reflect careful
planning of a worship service that will assist you and your guests to
bring glory
to God. Below is a general guide for the
shape of the worship service. Additional elements may be added to
the worship service in consultation with
the pastor.
GATHERING
Entrance
Greeting
Declaration of intention
Prayer of the day
WORD
Readings
Sermon
Hymn of the Day
MARRIAGE
Vows
Giving of Rings
Acclamation
Marriage Blessing
Prayers of Intercession
Lord’s Prayer
*C OMMUNION
(optional)
SENDING
Benediction
Dismissal
Scriptures
The scriptures you choose to have read at
your marriage service are a way of telling others about your own
faith, love, and understanding about
marriage. Please choose your scripture readings with prayer as you
decide
that to which you want to bear witness.
Following are some suggested scripture readings for you to keep in
mind, or speak with the pastor for
assistance.
OLD TESTAMENT
Genesis 1:26-28 woman and man created in
the image of God
Genesis 2:18-24 companionship rather than
loneliness
Proverbs 3:3-6 loyalty and faithfulness
written on the heart
S. of Sol. 2:10-13 the voice of the
beloved
S. of Sol. 8:6-7 many waters cannot
quench love
Isaiah 63:7-9 God’s steadfast love lifts
up the people
Jeremiah 31:31-34 the new covenant of the
people of God
PSALMS
67 may God be merciful to us and bless us
100 we are God’s people and the sheep of
God’s pasture
117 the steadfast love of the Lord
121 the Lord keeps watch over you
127 unless the Lord builds the house
128 blessed are those who walk in the
Lord’s ways
150 let everything that breathes praise
the Lord.
NEW TESTAMENT
Romans 8:31-35, 37-39 if God is for us,
who is against us
Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 a living sacrifice
and genuine love
1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13 the greatest
gift is love
Ephesians 3:14-19 the breadth, length,
height & depth of Christ’s love
Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33 walk in love, as
Christ loved us
Philippians 4:4-9 rejoice in the Lord
always
Colossians 3:12-17 clothed in compassion,
kindness…. Patience
I John 3:18-24 let us love in truth and
action
I John 4:7-16 let us love one another for
love is of God
GOSPEL
Matthew 5:1-10 the beatitudes
Matthew 5:14-16 you are the light, let
your light shine
Matthew 7:21, 24-29 a wise person builds
upon the rock
Matthew 19:3-6 what God has united must
not be divided
Matthew 22:35-40 love, the greatest
commandment
Mark 10:6-9 they are no longer two but
one
John 2:1-11 the wedding at Cana
John 15:9-17 love one another as I have
loved you
Vows
The vows you choose to make to each other
are shared publicly with your guests. They reflect your
commitment to each other, but also make a
statement about what your relationship will be like in the future.
Following are possible vows for you to
choose from, or speak with the pastor for assistance.
I, ________, take you, __________to be my
wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that
is
to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until
death parts us.
In the presence of God and this community, I,
__________, take you, ___________, to be my wife/husband; to have
and to hold from this day forward, in joy and in
sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish, as long as we both shall live. This is my
solemn vow.
I, ________, take you, __________ to by my
wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you
and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help
and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as
we
have been forgiven, and I will try with you to
better understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and
worst of what is to come, as long as we live.
I, ________, take you, __________ as my
husband/wife in Christian marriage. I take you for what you are, what
you
will be and what we will become together. I will
love you and trust you above all others as long as I live, and I will
seek to become one with you as we live together
sharing God's love.
__________, I take you to be my wife/husband from
this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to
come, to give and to receive, to speak and to
listen, to inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life
together to be loyal to you with my whole life and
with all my being.
I take you, __________ to be my wife/husband. I
promise before God and these witnesses to be your faithful
husband/wife, to share with you in plenty and in
want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and
strengthen you, and to join with you so that
together we may serve God and others as long as we both shall
live.
Music
Music selected for weddings should embody
high standards of quality and reflect the praise of God, God's
steadfast love in Christ as the
foundation of and model for marriage, and the asking of God's presence
and
blessing. Whenever music is employed in
the service, and by whatever instruments or voices, it should be
highquality
examples of the art of composition, not
cloud communication of the content and the mood of the
service with musical triteness or
associations bordering on sentimentality, and be within the ability of
the
performers at hand to play or sing with
assurance.
When you keep in mind the worship of God
and the Christ-centered orientation of the wedding service, the
music you choose needs to lift up the
presence of God in our lives and relationships. You will want to watch
closely such things as themes and
messages in the music, quality of the music, and difficulty for soloists
and
instrumentalists. Music will greatly
enhance the wedding service as it proclaims the loving God who blessed
your union.
Secular music (that which does not lift
up God's presence and blessing) may not be used during the wedding
service. It may be used sparingly during
the prelude or postlude.
Arrangements for musicians and music are
the responsibility of the couple to be married. Plan ahead! Spend
time with your organist, soloist, and
pastor in choosing the very best music you can. The following pages
offer
you a start on choosing various
appropriate pieces. ELC has several accompanists. Please check with the
pastor for contact information; and be
sure to notify the pastor your plans for musicians.
Suggestions for
Processional
"Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" -Bach
"Jesus Shepherd Walk Beside Us" -Bach
"Beautiful Savior" -arr. Christiansen
"Trumpet Tune in D Major" -Purcell
"Trumpet Voluntary in D Major" -Purcell
"Water Music Suite" -Handel
"Open Now Thy Gates of Beauty" -Manz
"Praise to the Lord" -Manz
“Hymne” -Vangelis
"Air" -Bach
"Canon in D" -Pachelbel
Suggestions for
Recessional
"Wedding March" -Mendelssohn
"Trumpet Tune in D Major" -Purcell
"Trumpet Voluntary in D Major" -Purcell
“Finale” -Handel
"Tocatta in F Major" -Buxtehude
"Open Now Thy Gates of Beauty" -Manz
"Praise to the Lord" -Manz
"Joy" -Bach
"On our Way Rejoicing" #537
"O Happy Day When We Shall Stand" #441
"Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" #836
Suggestions for Congregational Songs
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denotes could be used as a solo
“Beloved, God’s chosen” #648
“Come, my way, my truth, my life” #816
“O Morning Star, how fair and bright” #308
"Lord Jesus Christ Be Present Now” #527
"Hear Us Now, Our God & Father" #585*
"O Christ Our Hope, Our Heart's Desire" #604
"Love Divine All Loves Excelling #631*
"O Jesus, Joy of Loving Hearts" #658*
"The Lord's My Shepherd, I'll Not Want" #778*
"The King of Love My Shepherd Is" #502*
"O Holy Spirit, Enter In" #786
"Children of the Heavenly Father" #781*
"Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us" #789*
"Let Us Ever Walk with Jesus" #802*
"Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound" #779*
"Give to Our God Immortal Praise" #848
"All Creatures of Our God and King" #835
"Now Thank We All Our God" #839/#840
"Praise to the Lord, the Almighty' #858
"Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee" #836*
"Let All Things Now Living" #881
"Praise God From Whom All Blessings"
#884/#885
"I Was There To Hear Your Borning Cry" #732*
“Jesus, Come! For We Invite You” #312
“Jesu, Jesu, Fill Us With Your Love” #708
Furnishings
Evangelical provides the Christ Candle
and Altar Candles. Evangelical also has candelabras for the front and
along the aisles. You will need to
purchase 36 standard taper candles, 5” high to be used with them. Glass
globes (provided) for the aisle candles
will need to be washed prior to the rehearsal. If you choose to have a
unity candle, it will be placed on a
unity candle stand in the front area of the church to the right of the
chancel.
Unity candle tapers should be 12 inches
long. Couples are responsible for setting up and putting away
candelabras.
Flowers are not placed on the altar.
Stands are available for flowers. If flowers are going to be donated to
the
church for Sunday worship, please
indicate on the information sheet.
An aisle runner, if used, is to be
furnished by the couple and can be obtained from a florist. The aisle
runner
needs to be 55 feet long. There are 36
pews in the main sanctuary and approximately 275 people can be seated.
Additional seating is available in the
chapel and balcony.
Wedding banners are available. Please
indicate on the information sheet if you wish to use them, and which
one you have selected. Any decorations
that are attached need to be done using soft wire. Tape cannot be used
on the pews, woodwork, or painted
surfaces because it removes the finish.
Please keep in mind that anything moved
in the sanctuary, entrance, changing rooms, (including the altar rails),
will need to be moved back to its
original place.
License
Bring the license to the church office no
later than 1 week before the wedding. A Wisconsin marriage license is
required if you wish to get married in
Wisconsin (even if you live in another state). Normally you will obtain
the license at the county courthouse in
the county that you reside.
The couple must be present in person to
apply for the wedding license. Be prepared to provide:
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Proof of residency (drivers license,
utility bill) |
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Your parents full names (first,
middle, last, maiden) spelled correctly. |
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If under 30, a certified copy of your
birth certificate. |
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If you have previously been married,
bring the divorce decree or death certificate. |
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Your social security number. |
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Who will be performing the wedding
and where. |
A license is good for 1 month and takes 1
week to process.
The minimum age at which you can marry
with parental consent is 16. The minimum age at which you can
marry without parental consent is 18.
You must have 2 witnesses to the wedding
ceremony. This usually means that your “best man” and your
“maid of honor” will sign your marriage
license.
The marriage license is the document you
get prior to your wedding; the marriage certificate is the document
you may purchase from the Register of
Deeds after the wedding.
Witnesses must be at least 16 years old.
If your “best man” or “maid of honor” is under 16, it simply means
another witness will be needed to sign
the marriage certificate.
General Policies
The bride and her attendants will use the
choir room for dressing. The groom and his attendants will use the
office behind the chapel and/or the
library.
Rice and birdseed are not allowed because
of safety and difficulty in cleaning. Please do not throw either on
the church property.
The use of alcoholic beverages on the
church property or in the church is not allowed. Smoking on the church
property or in the church is not allowed.
Guests who are smoking will be informed of this policy.
Reception Policies
Please inform the pastor if you wish to
have the reception at ELC. The family will then need to coordinate the
arrangements with the W/ELC. Please check
with the office manager for a form, “Request for special
occasions” to be completed and returned
to the office at least one month in advance of the reception. Fees for
reception do not include the cost of the
food. Even if you use a caterer, your reception must be planned with
the knowledge of the coordinators, as
they must make arrangements to have a W/ELC member present at all
receptions. The family is to take
remaining food from the reception immediately following the reception.
All
other details regarding receptions need
to be discussed with one of the reception coordinators (obtain name
and telephone number of the individual to
contact from the church office.).
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